What the hell? You said I would enjoy this. You said running is fun and I will feel great. Why didn’t you tell me about this stuff?
1. Nipple Damage
Never will you feel pain like that of a chafed nipple. The rubbing is relentless. It is a delicate balance to harden those nipples without inducing a traumatic experience. Your nipple will never look the same. Luckily there is a tried and true solution – band aids. When you are heading out for a run that is longer than your precious nipples have handled before, slap on some classic band aids and enjoy the ride. Avoid a wet, cotton shirt. Seriously, get a dry fit. There is a real product called Nipguard...seems self-explanatory.
2. Inner Thigh Chafing
Inner thigh chafing has been a battle for runners since humans decided to stand upright. This is where vaseline comes in handy. Rub down those meaty inner thighs with a nice glob of jelly and enjoy a smooth ride. Bodyglide offers a mess free option for keeping your mighty thunders from burning straight to the core.
3. Armpit Chafing
Look, anything that rubs together will find a way to chafe, and your armpit is no exception. Vaseline is your friend here, too. You are going to go through a lot of vaseline. Again, check out Bodyglide.
4. Shin Splints
This one is a classic. There may not be a bigger destroyer of runs than shin splints. The shin splint likely takes the cake for the most popular reason a person gives up running after a few weeks of trying, and with good reason, it’s painful! Never fear, the solution is here. Shin splints take some time to heal. Your calves and shins can get pretty tight, but if you get yourself a foam roller you will quickly find relief. Roll out those lower legs and stretch before and after every run, and whenever you find time. Loosen up those calves and you will enjoy running once again.
5. It feel like you are always running
For some reason, even a 30 minute run seems to feel like a few hours when you are first getting into running. Even worse, when you are told to run again the next day it strangely feels like you JUST finished the last run! The only solution we have for this is to mix up the lengths of your runs and just keep running. With no science backing our theory, we have found that the more consistently you run, with varying lengths, the shorter most runs start to feel. Most likely this happens because it simply gets easier to run as you get into shape, and you aren’t dreading the next run.
Holy Blisters. Your beautifully kept, soft skinned feet don’t have a prayer. Before your feet become hardened warriors, the lovely blister (or 2 or 3) will form, and it will ruin your day. Blisters are caused from rubbing, so get some shoes that fit your weird feet and some nice running socks! Also, keep your feet dry.
7. Sun Burn
We all think we are fast enough to outrun the sun’s ultraviolet rays without a little protection, but that is a losing proposition. On a peaceful summer run it’s easy to forget that the sun is hard at work baking your skin, but you will get a cruel reminder when you step in the shower the next morning. Get some sweat resistant sunscreen.
Something about running really loosens up the bowels. Maybe it’s the constant up and down motion, or maybe it’s just all the coffee you have to drink before those morning runs. There is going to be a lot of bathroom stops, I don’t know why. Just ask Kara Goucher.
Laundry, Laundry, Laundry. Almost daily. You run, you sweat… such is life. It isn’t a pleasant smell. The clothes need to be washed and no matter how much running clothes you own it will seem like you are always doing laundry. This just comes with the territory and should be welcomed. When you do laundry think about the miles you put into those stinky shorts. Do laundry with pride. You earned it!
10. Lost Toenails
The more you run the greater your chances are of losing a toenail. This can be prevented with taking care of your feet and wearing proper shoes. However, if you decide to run a marathon it’s almost guaranteed you will lose a toenail at some point. It’s just a battle scar of a dedicated runner. Display your disgusting toes with pride.
What do you wish you were told when you started running. Reply in the comments or write your own article!